Relationship and Marriage counseling can help you discover how suitable you are.

The two most important factors that determine how compatible you are as a couple are:

A similar degree of psychological vitality and maturity and a compatible ranking of Instinctual Variants.

What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the natural energy or drive that are inherently part of us as humans. Our actions are highly engaged with and is often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.

Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual variant are preoccupied with the essential survival needs as they translate into our contemporary society, for example, money, food, housing, health, physical safety and comfort.
Being secure and physically comfortable are priorities, and they will tend to bring these supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice lighting, uncomfortable seating, the room temperature, when the lunch break will be, and whether they will like the food provided. They tend also to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of important necessities of life.
They are the most introverted of the types.

Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this variant have a intense desire for severity of experience and intimacy. The blunt riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a situation they gravitate toward people they feel magnetized to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can be intimacy addicts, often ignoring pressing matters or even basic maintenance if they are infatuated with something that has captured them. This gives a wide ranging exploratory approach to life, but can also give a lack of focus on one’s own achievements.

Social Instinct.
People of this type are preoccupied on their interactions with other people and with the sense of value and self esteem they derive from their involvement in collective activities. These include occupation, relationships, side activities and clubs.
On entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the power structures and subtle politics between the different people and social circles. They are subconsciously attuned on other’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to connect with others to feel secure, acknowledged and energised. They tend to enjoy interacting with others, but they eschew intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.

Within a person, one of these three Instincts will predominate. In fact these 3 variants can be ordered like the sections of a cake, with the most dominant one at the top. The weakest one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These instincts play a pivotal role in our relationships because people of the same variant tend to share values to understand each other completely, and therefore feel very compatible.

In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.

For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.

For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.